Not To Be Trusted With Knives

When I was a kid, we had the Calgary ‘88 Olympics glasses from Petro-Canada. I’d be willing to bet that most Canadians remember these glasses – everyone I’ve mentioned them to recently has said, “The ones with the gold that flaked off?”  Yup, those would be the ones.  They looked like this¹:

In the process of moving, it struck me that I only have three glasses².  I had an unholy number of mugs – in fact, I donated about half of them to the thrift store – but not so much on the glasses front.  So, I decided that buying the Vancouver 2010 Olympics glasses from Petro-Canada would solve both my lack-of-glasses problem and my desire-for-keepsakes problem³.  Plus, proceeds from the glasses help support our wonderful Canadian athletes!

I tried to take some photos of my lovely new glasses, but my stupid camera thinks that my memory card is full, despite the fact that I deleted all sorts of photos of them, and it’s stubbornly refusing to take any photos.  I took some photos with my iPhone, but the ones of the glasses on their own didn’t turn out very well. So instead, I’ll share these photos of the glasses in their boxes instead:

The glasses each have the inukshuk⁴, that’s an important characteristic in a glass.  Also, they don’t have any gold on them, so, unlike the Calgary ones, they won’t be remembered as “those glasses where the gold flaked off.”

Image Credits: Photo of Calgary Olympics glass posted by vivianh on Flickr. The rest of the photos are mine!

1. FSM bless the magic of Flickr and generosity of those who post with Creative Commons licenses for that photo! [↩]
2. two of which have Canucks logos on them, for the record [↩]
3. yes, I realize these are not actually problems, but leave me to my rationalizations, k? [↩]
4. interestingly, the Firefox spell checker knows “Inuktitut” (the name of some Inuit languages), but not “inukshuk”) logo on one side, but they each have a different design on the other side.  Which isn’t shown on the boxes and won’t show up in the subpar photos produced by my iPhone’s camera.  Perhaps when my regular camera stops being such a bee-yotch, I’ll get some photos that do the glasses justice.

   On a more practical note, the glasses are pretty sturdy – one of the people at the Petro-Can where I bought them said, “Oh yeah, I’ve dropped mine a couple of times and it hasn’t broken yet.”  And given that I’m a DOATV ((Dropper of All Things Valuable [↩]

I was in a thrift store today and saw this mug:

There were four of these mugs in fact.  They caught my eye because I had *just* been thinking how I used to have this awesome sugar bowl that looked exactly like that – it was from a set that my parents had when I was little and I got it when I’d moved out. It got broken at some point and I remember my sister being pissed off at me because she really liked that sugar bowl too.  Anyway, I’m currently in need of a sugar bowl and so was thinking about that sugar bowl and then out of nowhere I see the mugs from the same set.  From probably 30 years ago.  What are the odds?

When I was growing up, there was a drawer in the kitchen that was known as “The Junk Drawer.” It’s where the random drawer-dwelling type things which didn’t belong in any of the other categorized drawers (e.g., the cutlery drawer) lived. “Did you look in the junk drawer??” was often the response to the question, “Mooooom, where is the such-and-such?”  When I was really little, I thought it was called “The Drunk Drawer.” Which is especially odd given that neither of my parents drink.

For most of adult life, however, I have been junk drawer-less.  This may or may not be because I’ve had somewhat of a junk apartment (being tidy is not one of my strengths).  But recently Tod was getting rid of one of the those racks of plastic drawers (see picture on the left) and I said I could use it to house my ever-growing shoe collection¹.  (I may never have mentioned this on my blog before, but I have a lot of shoes). But I have recently started using the top *two* drawers as “Junk Drawers.” Clearly I’m making up for all the lost time of being junk drawer-less.

So what does one keep in the Junk Drawer.  Here are some pictures of what are in mine:

Items include:

• over-the-counter drugs (ibuprofen, acetaminophen)
• prescription drugs (go anti-malarials!)
• key chain
• two lanyards
• a Save-On More card thingy that you put on your key chain²
• matches (that’s random)
• vitamin and mineral supplements
• my water bottle holder & wrist band that you can store a key in (both for running)
• instruction manual for something (possibly my fridge? I can’t tell from the photo)
• a pedometer that I’m sure belongs to my old roommate (and which I have no idea how to use)
• charger for a bluetooth headset I lost a year and a half ago in San Fran
• cord for I don’t even know what
• batteries
• a red ball

Hmm. It seems that I should probably get rid of most of that stuff.  I guess it’s called the “junk” drawer for a reason!

1. Tod had been using it to store chargers and wires and other geeky gadgetry.  I’m using it primarily for shoes.  I think this tells you a lot about each of us [↩]
2. not sure why they thought I needed two of those, plus the actual card)
3. various headphones
4. business cards
5. sunglasses
6. old iPod ((been meaning to put that up on Craig’s List [↩]

I saw this over on Laura’s blog and thought it was a pretty cool idea, so I’m stealing it leveraging some OPI¹ and do my own summary of the first decade of the 21st century!

In 2000 I rang in the new millennium atop what Ontarians called a “mountain,” (but British Columbians would refer to as a “bump”) – my then-husband and I decided we wanted to do something memorable for New Year’s Eve 1999, so we hiked up the Niagara Escapement just before midnight and from that vantage point we watched the fireworks from a few different towns at the same time. That year also saw me graduate from the University of Guelph with my Masters of Science (Human Biology & Nutritional Science) and move across the country to start my PhD at UBC. So, yeah, 2000 was a pretty big year.

In 2001 I started coordinating a science outreach program at UBC, a position I would hold for five years. Doing that was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made, as it introduced me to a lot of amazing people with whom I’m still good friends today; as well, I used it to develop a lot of useful skills² that have helped me immensely in the career path I’ve since chosen to follow.

In 2002 I taught my first every university course (as the course instructor, not just a TA) – not too bad for a 25 year old! I also received my first ever grant (just a small one; it funded the first ever Western regional conference for that science outreach program I ran, as well as a bit of cash to buy some supplies). Other than that, it was a pretty average year – well into the swing of being a grad student, but the end was still a long way off.

In 2003 I received my first teaching award; I do pride myself on being a good instructor, so it was pretty awesome to be recognized for this work. As well, I was nominated for a research award based on the first poster I ever presented at a conference; upon seeing the two other nominees in my category, learned that “it’s an honour just to be nominated” is not just a saying!

In 2004 I got to be in the one and only wedding party that I’ve ever been in – I was a bridesmaid at Sarah & Dave’s wedding. Sarah and the rest of the bridal party came out to Vancouver for a bachelorette weekend in June, at which time we dubbed ourselves “The Coalition of the Wedding”³. In November, my niece was born and in early December I flew out to Toronto on the cheapest flight ever⁴ to meet her – did I ever mention that she’s the most amazing kid ever? 2004 was also the year I started feeling like the PhD was taking forever, because they tell you when you start that it should take four years to finish⁵ and the end was still nowhere to be seen!

2005 started out OK – I received two more grants (both for the science outreach program). Then I won a prestigious⁶ award for my research and got to present my work at the conference of the group granting the award. I also had my first two papers published. And then my world came crashing down around me when my then-husband confessed to having affairs.

2006 was pretty much the worst year I could imagine. In addition to my own divorce, there was the breakup my sister’s marriage, a complete clusterf#$% with my first scheduled PhD defense, and the completely unexpected disappearance of the postdoc position I had secured at Stanford University due to funding falling through⁷, which I found out about just five days before my actual PhD defense⁸. The one shining moment in the year two thousand and suck was that I did, in fact, get my PhD, but it lacked some of the luster one would have liked it to have had given that (a) the stress of everything made my performance at my defense a whole lot crappier than it would have been had I been in top form and (b) it precipitated a six month period of unemployment, the only time I’ve been unemployed since I got my first paper route at age eight. Despite all the suck, 2006 was also the year I learned the most about myself and where I truly learned what amazing friends I have.

2007, mercifully, was a *much* better year than 2006. I actually enjoyed my period of “funemployment,” punctuated by brief freelance jobs here and there to keep me afloat, which was also helped along by the fact that my friend Danielle let me share her basement suite, making our rent amazingly cheap⁹. I was also dating¹⁰ for the first time in my adult life, since I’d been married since age 20. I also turned 30 in 2007 and celebrated by getting a bunch of friends together to go surfing in Tofino! I had three papers published. I completed two half marathons. I got my first big girl job in March. And at the end of the year, I met Tod. So, yeah, 2007 was a pretty good year!

In 2008, was the first year where I really got to do any reasonable amount of travel: I visited my first territory as part of a contract to do some work in Yellowknife, as well as going to Calgary, Vegas, San Fran, and Mexico. I spent the better part of the year focused on writing a grant application to continue the program I worked for (i.e., to continue to fund my salary). I also finally got the laser eye surgery that I’ve wanted for so long. At the end of the year, we lost my Granny.

In 2009 I started my new job, which I’ve absolutely been loving! I made my first trip to the east coast since I was a kid, visiting New Brunswick for a conference. I did my first¹¹.

And now we are sitting on the cusp of 2010. I find it so hard to believe – I remember being a kid where saying “2000″ meant “the future” and now that’s A DECADE ago. I have a good feeling about 2010 though… and my early January trip to the Dominican Republic and then tickets to some Olympic hockey games for February sound like a good start!

1. I’m reading a supercheezy audiobook right now called “The One Minute Millionaire” where they talk about all the things you can leverage, like other people’s money (OPM), other people’s time (OPT), other people’s work (OPW) and other people’s ideas (OPI). And I decided that from now on I will refer to stealing other people’s ideas as “leveraging some OPI” [↩]
2. e.g., managing people and budgets [↩]
3. it was a topical joke for 2004 [↩]
4. back in the old Jetsgo days! [↩]
5. despite the fact that the average time to complete a PhD is SIX years, not four [↩]
6. if I do say so myself! [↩]
7. I position for which I’d turned down a postdoc position at McGill University, btw [↩]
8. which, let me tell you, is that last freaking thing you need to be dealing with during a PhD defence in the middle of the worst year of your life [↩]
9. this was part of the “learned what amazing friends I have” in the latter part of ‘06 [↩]
10. or as my friend Ziba refers to it: “when Beth was crazy” [↩]
11. and likely only) 24 hour Blogathon. And I did another half marathon, though my having what, in retrospect, was probably H1N1 hampered my performance. Also, this year seems to have been a year for buying stuff – my Smart car, my MacBook Pro and my iPhone were all 2009 purchases. For friends, it was a year for babies (Sarah & Dave’s had Teddy, Clayton & Jodelene had Mason, and Alicia & Paul have their first baby on the way (though he/she will be a 2010 kid [↩]

By special request, here are some photos of my Christmas tree!

I like that fact that it is skinny – most Christmas trees are much wider, but a skinny tree is a definite plus in a Vancouver-sized apartment!  Notice that the star on the top touches the ceiling (and to even get the star onto the tree required bending down the top branch of the tree!) – I couldn’t have a taller tree if I tried!

I seem to have far fewer ornaments than I remember, which means either there is a box of ornaments around somewhere that I haven’t looked or they were an unintended causality of the Great Purge of ‘06¹. But I do want to share with you a few of my favs that were in the box of ornaments that I was able to find.

Baking with my mom and sister² was a big part of my childhood, so this is probably my favourite ornament.  It’s a gingerbread girl who is baking gingerbread cookies – so meta! – and I got her in 1988³ from my parents⁴.

This Garfield has sat on the branch of my Christmas trees for as far back as I can remember:

Like virtually every other biological sciences undergrad, I thought I was going to be an MD when I grew up – hence this ornament that my sister gave me in 1994⁵:

Another gift from my sister was this Hop on Pop ornament, from the Dr. Seuss classic of the same name.  I loved that book when I was a kid because it featured two kids (which I equated to my sister and me) and a daddy with a big belly (which I equated to my dad).  I can’t remember what year my sis gave me this one, but it was recent!

Note that the photos don’t really do my tree justice- you’ll have to come over to see it to really have an appreciation for it!

1. To fill it out a bit, I bought the blue glass ball ornaments and the beaded garland. [↩]
2. and, at Christmas time, my Aunt Wendy [↩]
3. the year is written on her apron, which you can’t see in this photo [↩]
4. my sister got an identical ornament and so mine has a sticker on it to be able to tell whose was whose.  Because for some reason that matter to us when we were 11 and 13 [↩]
5. which would have put me in grade 12 [↩]

OMG! Why did no one tell me that The Hockey Sweater is on YouTube??

This is a a Canadian classic! We watched this every year in elementary school, usually right before Christmas break when the teachers showed us a bunch of films¹, probably because they knew we wouldn’t be up for learning anything at that point.  We also watched a cartoon about Christmas and aliens and there was a goose in it. And the teenagers all wore bell bottoms ((my school only had really old films to show us). Wait, it was called “Cosmic Christmas”!!  <searches Youtube>  ZOMG, it’s on You Tube too!

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

1. yes, I’m so old we watched movies on actual film projectors [↩]

This guest posting by Kalev just arrived in my mailbox.  Kalev is trying to make me cry!  So I’ve bumped the posting I was working on until next half hour, ‘cuz I needed to post this one right away!

The funny thing about me and Beth being friends is that we don’t quite remember when we became friends. I mean, we know when we met and under what circumstances, and then we know we kinda bonded when she was in San Francisco for a conference and I was there with a friend for SF Pride and I took her to the best veggie Chinese restaurant in the city and then to a cool gay pride party called “Pink Saturday” that happens every year in the Castro the night before the parade. But after that, there’s this weird gap between San Francisco and when we became good friends, the kind of friends who not only help you kill someone (e.g., [notice the comma] “It,” Drooling Idiot, Captain e-Tool, Lives-and-Breathes, MuffMaster 2000, etc.) but who also help you bury the body and frankly offer to take the blame and provide you an alibi if you get caught.

There are several ways people can tell that Beth is one of my very best friends. The most obvious one is that Beth loves hockey. I loathe hockey. But not only do I still associate with Beth despite her passion for the sport of heinosity (yes, that is a word, because I say it is), I have even attended a birthday dinner in her honour at a bar where the heinous game was being broadcast. And sat through the entire disgraceful affair. (Unsurprisingly, Beth’s darlings, the Canucks, lost. Shocking, I know!)

Another way people can tell Beth is one of my best friends is that I am more than willing to abruptly scuttle plans with lesser friends if it means I can spend time with Beth. Okay, maybe you can’t tell that because it’s not like I go around telling people in my life, “Well sorry, you mean a lot less to me than Beth” but I can assure you that has happened on more than one occasion. (No, I don’t falsely maintain that all my friends are “equal” in stature. Please.)

Yet another way in which you can tell that Beth is one of my best friends is that I stop and think about what she says if what she says is not what I am expecting or does not agree with what I think. That is (aka i.e.), I consider her an equal. Actually, in some ways, I consider her my superior. If you knew me, you would understand the import of this. *grin*

But the way it truly became clear to me that Beth was one of my best friends is when my mum was sick with cancer. She was diagnosed in Fall 2005. At this point I was seeing quite a lot of Beth. After the diagnosis, I told quite a few of my friends what was going on but very few people who weren’t, shall we say, “top tier.” One of the people I did not tell immediately was Beth. Partly that was because she was going through a pretty trying time in her own life (getting divorced after ten years of marriage) but mainly it was because by not telling her, I had someone to hang out with where I was just Kalev, where I could pretend everything was normal, where I could desperately avoid being “Kalev whose mother was dying of cancer.” I had someone close to me where I could be the person I had been before the news that forever altered my life. I had someone with whom I could escape the horror my life had become.

My friendship with Beth became a place of refuge, a place where I could just be me and laugh and rave about the petty injustices of the world, the idiots who were totally meaningless in the context of losing the most important person of my life.

There are a handful of people who saved my sanity and probably my life during that period. But Beth was the only person who didn’t know what solace she was providing, just by being her incredibly amazing self. As far as Beth was concerned, I was a friend and she and I were hanging out and having fun. She didn’t know, she couldn’t have known, how every time I saw her or talked to her or emailed with her, she was doing the impossible: she was helping me through a time that was unendurable, a time that I did not believe would ever end, a time where I was so not myself and so lost and alone… and she made me feel like it might one day be all right. She helped me hold on when I didn’t know anymore who I was or how life worked. She let me know that even in the darkest time of my life, I was loved and respected and valued… and she kept me laughing when in all rights I should never have laughed again. And she didn’t even know how much I needed her; she was just there for me.

It took nine months for me to finally tell Beth what was happening with my mum. I felt so guilty I hadn’t shared the truth with her and I wanted so badly for her to understand that it wasn’t what it seemed like, that it wasn’t because she wasn’t that good a friend that I had neglected to mention the fact that my mum was terminally ill, but it was precisely because she was such an amazing friend that I had needed to keep her in the dark until the last possible moment.

And as long as I live, I don’t think I will ever see someone so effortlessly and so gracefully accept and understand another person’s pain-driven need as when I told her my mum had been sick. I still marvel at that to this day and I will cherish her compassion and her generosity of spirit for as long as I live.

And when my mum was in and out of hospital the rest of the summer of 2006, Beth was always there for me. And when my mother died, Beth was there for me. So well beyond how smart and funny and witty and incisive Beth is, well beyond the fact that we so delightfully share similar worldviews and that the same stupid people make us crazy, well beyond what a thorougly good and loving person Beth is, I know Beth is my friend because when I most needed a friend, when I had nothing left to give, Beth was my friend. Beth loved me and comforted me and she was there for me like very, very few others. And if we are indeed judged on the quality of those who hold us dear in their hearts, I know I have nothing to fear, because I am the friend of Beth Snow… and I can think of no honour or accomplishment that can possibly top that.

And now part 2 of this guest posting extravaganza by Sarah!  Again, with my comments added in [square brackets] and in italics.

So, volume 2. Dave has retired for the night. He says: “Tell everyone that I am lame and am going to bed. Unlike Beth, who rocks.” I cannot guarantee that the content of this post will be stellar, but it will be content. And a reference for Beth.

2001: Beth and Sarah talk and email frequently; but do not see each other until the end of the year. Sarah is muddling through her MSc, Beth working on her PhD. Beth and TMwwodbhEX come back for the holidays and we hang out. And they’re subjected to an incredibly awkward moment, when Dave gets a call letting him know that his Poppy has died. Happy 2002!

2002: Once again, B&S only see each other once, this time when Beth comes to London for a Let’s Talk Science conference. This begins a trend; the two meet up in London every year for several years. [I don't think I ever told you how much it meant to me that you always drove out to London to see me!] Sarah finishes her MSc and moves back to Georgetown while she tries to get in with the GoC.

2003: The trend continues; one visit in the summer of the year. Sarah and Dave get engaged in early July, though, and Beth agrees to be in the wedding party. [Yay in the wedding party!  My first time ever being in a wedding party!  First and only, actually!] Beth rocks.

2004: THREE visits this year! Sarah and the rest of the bridal party [a.k.a., The Coalition of the Wedding] head out to Vancouver for the bachlorette party in June; it is an amazing time. In July, Beth comes back to the conference in London. And Beth is in Sarah and Dave’s wedding in October. It’s a tonne of fun.

2005: We manage two visits this year; Beth comes to visit Sarah and Dave in their apartment in Ottawa (to where they’d moved in the fall of ’04). The first visit is prior to her annual conference in London, and Beth goes to Question Period at the House of Commons. The second is November. Beth checks out a potential post-doc in Montreal and spends the week working on her thesis in our apartment. [This is yet another thing that I can never find the words to express how much it meant to me. This was during the period when TMwwodbmEX and I were separated, but I hadn't yet told anyone. And having the two of you invite me to stay with you, be so happy to hang out with me and make me feel loved was exactly what I needed in such a dark time in my life.] The cats love her. [And I love those cats!] Dave and I have late night chats about how wonderful it is to have her around and how we wish she lived closer. This is also the year that the two of them begin to blog in earnest.

2006: Vancouver visits galore! Dave and Sarah head out for over a week in April (for the aborted thesis defense), details of which can be found here: http://touchyoulast.blogspot.com/search?q=vancouver and here: http://www.drbethsnow.com/2006/04/19/fucksocks-sarah-dave-rock/ . Then, Sarah heads back to Vancouver in August for the actual defense, details of which are recorded here: http://www.drbethsnow.com/2006/08/10/the-transportation-misadventures-of-sarah/ . [Again, yet another example of how Sarah and Dave are freakin' amazing people.  I mean, who flies across the country TWICE, to help out a friend.  Sarah, that's who!] Beth starts job hunting.

2007: For her 30th, D&S promise Beth an adventure. A trip to AB fits the bill, though Calgary leaves a lot to be desired. Sarah head to Vancouver for a few days (Beth has just started her new job), then Beth and Sarah meet up with Dave at the home of another friend in Cowtown. Details of these adventures can be found here: http://www.drbethsnow.com/2007/03/30/western-canadian-hijinks/ and here: http://touchyoulast.blogspot.com/search?q=calgary . Beth also comes back to Ontario at Xmas, and she comes to Ottawa to visit. Details of her wintery visit can be found here: http://www.drbethsnow.com/2007/12/28/choose-my-own-adventure-ottawa-style/ .

2008: Beth comes to visit the GTA in June; Dave and Sarah visit her briefly. Then, Sarah heads out to Vancouver in August. Details are here: http://www.drbethsnow.com/2008/08/21/sarah-is-here-sarah-is-here/ We still talk all the time and email and blog, etc.

2009: Sadly, no visits yet. BUT – two months from today, Dave, Teddy and Sarah will be in Vancouver. WOOT! We miss Beth and cannot wait to see her. [I am the worst EVER because I haven't yet been out to meet Teddy yet!  I can't wait to see you guys too!!]

And there you go… [and here's to many more adventures to come!!]

Don’t forget to donate!

Read about the charity that I’m supporting, Options for Sexual Health!

OK, so it looks like we are full on into nostalgia mode!   Hot off the heels of my regaling you with tales of my life in westward movement, I now give you another guest post by Sarah!  And since I can’t resist putting my 2 cents in, my comments shall appear inside [square brackets], in italics

This post has nothing to do with books, but everything to do with Beth. It’s a record of some of my favourite Beth memories, tied to the years in which they occurred. Since I’ve known Beth for several decades, I’m going to break it up. In the later volume, Dave will likely chime in.

20 years ago: Sarah and Beth meet (at one of the week-long nerdfests for gifted kids in the HRCSB). They spend these weeks bonding over their mutual love of the Toronto Blue Jays.

1991: Beth and Sarah start grade 9. The only class they have together is gym. Needless to say, neither excels. Beth is *particularly* adept at jumping rope while Sarah sucks even more than Beth at basketball. [You may not have caught the sarcasm them with the "*particularly*... but man did I suck at jumping rope in grade 9.  I wasn't uncoordinated in any other way, but was absolute shit at trying to jump rope.  I can do it now just fine, but then - well, let's say that if you saw my trying to jump rope, you'd expect that you'd see me later in the cafeteria putting a fork into my eye.  Also, Sarah rocked at badminton!  Me - I could not serve to save my life.  Also: shuttlecock].

Early 1992: Still in 9th grade, Sarah and Beth become closer. Due to paternal illness, the two are forced to attend a Jays game with Grandpa Snow and cousin Andy (rather than Ray and Maria). Both learn that rhythm should be spelled “b*l*a*c*k”. [LOL!] Another highlight – while swimming in Sarah’s just-shocked pool, Beth’s brand new black swimsuit fades to chocolate brown.

Late 1992: In the months before 10th grade, Sarah and Beth were led to believe that they’d have 7 classes and both lunches together over both semesters (since they were taking the exact same courses). In reality – they have NO classes and lunch first semester. Woot. Happily, Hilroy has manufactured enough notepaper to capture all the inconsequential stuff they wrote to each other on notes hastily scrawled during class time. [I'm *sure* I still have some of those kicking around. Must find.] At this time, Sarah is dating a rep hockey player (named Fabio [Seriously. His name was *Fabio*]; he has classes with Beth) and Beth is dating her first long-term boyfriend, Stupid, whose real name is actually too stupid to report [LOL!!  that is so true!]. Stupid is rather possessive, but he is happy enough to double date with Sarah and some of his random friends/his brother. Oh, to be 15 and stuck in the suburbs. So many trips to bowling alleys. And plotting ways to get to the Blue Jays World Series victory parade (spoiler: does not happen).

Early 1993: Sarah starts dating a guy named Paul, causing a huge rift between her and her then-best friend (with whom she subsequently mends fences). Beth is one of the few friends who actually listens to Sarah’s side of the story (aka reason), a fact Sarah appreciates more than Beth knows. Beth also gets her driver’s license and access to the Jeep. This means FREEDOM. In a limited sense, but still – no more relying on parents or jackass boyfriends! They also go to ball games (yeah, MacDonald season tickets).

Summer 1993: Beth and Sarah take their first trip together, to Kingston with Sarah’s Aunt Flo. They stay at Sarah’s Nonna’s place. They swim in Lake Ontario, get checked out by Queen’s students, and make assess of themselves in front of Sarah’s Uncle Sergio [It's true!  We did!  We didn't know he was in the house, as we'd gone, I believe, to the corner store, and he had come home and gone to bed while we were out, and we got home and were singing at the top of our freaking lungs. I believe we were singing songs from Joseph & the Technocolour Dreamcoat.  Until he yelled at us to STHU.  So. Embarassing!] . They spend hours amusing Rachel, Sarah’s one-year old cousin (daughter of Aunt Pat). It should be noted that this cousin is now 17 and got her G2 yesterday [For my BC readers, a G2 is the equivalent of the "N" license here.  I.e., Rachel is now old!].

Late 1993: Sarah and Beth have actual classes together during semester one. Three of four, plus lunch. Shockingly, they don’t get sick of each other at all. Plus, they audition for the school play (not the musical; Beth hates them though Sarah takes part) [For the record, I didn't hate musicals - I just can't sing to save my life!  I did make-up for the musicals and left the singing to the talented people, like Sarah!] and Beth gets the leading role while Sarah is in a comical supporting one. Beth breaks up with Stupid (hooray!); Sarah spends an inordinate amount of time mooning over idiots (that she dates. Bad scene). They spend hours overloading the Jeep with passengers, driving around Milton and Georgetown visiting Tim Hortons and other fast food establishments. They also spend weekends sleeping over at each other’s homes and endless hours on the phone. The life of the suburban teen in the 90s = glamourous. Once again, they do not skip class to go to the Jays’ victory parade. Skipping class to plan conferences and do other extracurriculars, however, is fair game and happens often.

Early 1994: The two have only one class together – 11th grade chemistry, along with Jen. The teacher is a jackass [SUCH a jackass!]; he tells Sarah that she is not smart enough to study this subject (!??!) [See what we mean about him being a jackass?  Did we mention: jackass?], while he disciplines Beth and Jen in lieu of punishing Sarah (he tells Beth that her ego is too fragile for punishment) [It's true!  He actually said "Sarah's ego is too fragile to handle being moved from one seat to another]. WTF? Sarah’s chemist Dad is not amused. Neither is Sarah; both she and Beth end up with 90s in the course and go on to study Science in Uni. Suck it, EKIM YLLEK. Science bitches always win the day. [Yay science bitches!]

Summer 1994: Sarah and Beth attend several concerts, including Depeche Mode (Dave is there) and the BNL (Dave is also there). Beth dates randoms, Sarah dates a nice guy who gets psycho later. In retrospect – why so much drama?

Late 1994: In twelfth grade, Sarah and Beth have two classes together – Chemistry and Algebra & Geometry; the latter SUCKS. They are once again in a play together [This time Sarah is the lead and Beth, at first, isn't even cast at all. Over which she throws a bit of a hissy fit. Later the director comes with his tail between his legs to ask her to take a part when another actress drops out.  And she takes it and it's great fun and at one point they even pile the *entire cast of the play* into her Jeep and drive all the way to freakin' Toronto (as in on the 401!) to see a professional group perform the play they are do.  It was awesomeness.]. This semester, Beth starts dating the man who will one day become her ex-husband (TMwwodbhEX).

Early 1995: Things start to go downhill for B&S. They have one night school class together (OAC Geography; good god, did the teacher have BO [We used to joke that he loved the environment so much that he never showered. You know, to save water]). They spend less and less time together. They barely spend any time together. [Boo us!]

Summer 1995: Beth graduates early and prepares to head off to McMaster. Sarah breaks up with first long-term boyfriend; she calls Beth to let her know, but leaves a message with Jack [my dad]. Jack does not pass on this message, adding to their estrangement. Sarah begins dating Dave (round one).

Late 1995: Beth starts Mac while Sarah starts her last year of high school. Beth writes to Sarah, who callously ignores the letters. She’s classy like that. The two stop talking. [We sucked!  Teenagers are so lame!]

Early 1996: To his credit, TMwwodbhEX attempts to reconcile S&B. They talk, but it doesn’t really take. Sarah graduates and heads off to Guelph.

Late 1996: While reflecting on a Violent Femmes concert, Sarah decides to contact Beth (who loves the band). After exchanging guarded emails, the two hash it out and realize that they’ve been total idiots (well, Sarah does) [Beth does too!]. The two make plans to get together over the holidays with Dave and TMwwodbhEX. This meeting goes exceptionally well – the 4 spend 14 hours talking and having fun. This is a theme over the next few years.

1997: Beth gets hitched in a tiny ceremony. Sarah is not there [I'm sorry you weren't there! I'm a total asshole for not having you there.  Although, with the way things turned out in the end, maybe you didn't want to be there anyway! lol!], but she co-hosts a wedding shower for her later in the year [Yay! That was awesome!]. The two are attending different schools, but they chat often and see each other frequently.

1998: Sarah breaks up with Dave; Beth is one of the first to express regret and reiterate how much she likes Dave. The two continue to hang out when they can, Beth having moved back to Milton and commuting to Hamilton.

1999: Beth graduates Mac and starts a grad program at Guelph. While great in theory, in practice, she and Sarah have COMPLETELY opposite schedules and rarely see each other during the first semester. Boo! [That was soo disappointing! I really thought we would see each other *all the time* I did get to see your dad give an expert guest lecture in one of your classes though. That was cool].

2000: Sarah and Dave reconcile; Beth is thrilled. Beth and TMwwodbhEX confirm plans to move to Vancouver. Sarah and Beth start hanging out as much as is humanly possible. They both remark on the irony – they spent a year and a half not talking…what a waste! Sarah (and Dave) help Beth and TMwwodbhEX pack up and head to Vancouver [omg, you guys were *such* a godsend for that. TMwwodbmEX was being so... let's say, difficult, during that move]; Sarah waits until the car ride back to start bawling. [Awww! I didn't know I made you bawl!  I'm sorry!!] The two, however, stay in close contact despite the distance.

Whew! There’s round one. And Beth – it can be an aide-memoire for you if you need to orient yourself in time (as in – ‘what the heck was going on in1993?’) Ben always joked that he didn’t need a memory for high school/University – he had me. You do, too!

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Read about the charity that I’m supporting, Options for Sexual Health!

This is one of the those postings that have been floating around in my head for ages. I even took the photos for it back in December, and have been adding stuff to it here and there, but I haven’t gotten around to putting the whole posting together. Until now.  (And yes, it is a bit long and I didn’t actually write it all in the last 30 minutes… but I did assemble it and get it out today, so I think it’s fair game).

Sure I’m 32 years old.  And yes I have a bunch of stuff animals.  Your point?

This is Bunny:

I received Bunny as a Christmas present when like 3 or 4 years old, from my Grampa on my mom’s side¹. Which makes Bunny like 29 years old. Her ears, nose and dress are all torn to shreds, but I still love her.

This is Froggy:

Froggy was a gift from my Aunt Wendy and Uncle Harry² when I was about 6 months old. I was born with developmental dysplasia³ and, as an infant, I had to have surgery, then spend some time in a cast called a “frog leg cast” because, well, it held my legs in a frog leg configuration which apparently is what is required for the hip joint to heal properly after that surgery. Hence, the stuffed frog.

This is Puppy:

He’s a Pound Puppy that I got for Christmas one year when I was a kid. I originally named him Prince, and he has a little dogtag with that printed on it as proof, but I ended up just referring to him as “Puppy.” Well, in truth, it was my Cabbage Patch Kids that referred to him as Puppy, not me, because, you know, my CPKs had a mind of their own.

This is Pavelle:

She’s a pink kitten. I got her in high school from the man who would later become my ex-husband⁴ and I named her Pavelle after the man who would later become an ex-Canuck, Pavel Bure.

This is Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber:

I found Bob in a grocery store in Hamilton back when I used to live there. As a vegetarian, how could I pass up an adorable little tomato like that? I would later discover that Bob is actually a frontveggie⁵ for a Christian animated series⁶. But not until after I had also acquired Larry the Cucumber. Bob seemed like he needed a friend, what with being a vegetable in a family full of animals, so on a subsequent trip to the same grocery store in Hamilton, the name of which I am desperately trying to remember with no luck⁷, I picked up Larry. But, by the time I found out about their work in the frontveggie-for-Christian-animated-series field, they had already been exposed to my heathen family of unoriginally named animals. They are now fallen vegetables.

My third and final grocery store adoption was Jordan the Penguin:

I found Jordan sitting in the freezer case, in amongst the frozen juices, in a grocery store in Burnaby. I think someone saw him sitting in the pile of penguins that I would later see in another part of the grocery store and thought it would be funny to put the little guy, with his little toque, into the freezer case. He just looked so cute and so cold that I knew I needed to take him home, where the rest of the animals and vegetables in my ever growing family could keep him warm. Oh yes, his name was from a very short-lived character on the Young & the Restless – a punk kid who was selling ecstasy to the teenagers of Genoa City and was killed off once his storyline had come to completion. And he always wore a touque.

Another case of me being suckered in by a stuffed animal that looked extra cute by virtue of it being placed in the wrong department in a store is my pillow-shaped-like-a-rhinoceros, Paradox:

I was walking through Zellers having a conversation about paradoxes and I saw this little guy sitting in the picture frame department. He looked so alone that I just had to buy him and I named him Paradox before I even got to the checkout line.

In my previous apartment, my landlords owned a dog named Inti. He was a super friendly yellow Labrador Retriever and he spent most of the day out in the backyard while his owners were at work. Which meant that when I came home from school, Inti would be waiting in the backyard to greet me. I’d usually bring him inside with me and we’d take a nap on the couch until the landlords got home, at which point he’d go batshit insane with excitement, jumping about two feet in the air by my front door to tell me to let him out so he could go upstairs⁸. Since I was too poor to have my own real live dog, I got a stuffed one that looked a lot like Inti. He ended up named Monty because when I first moved into that apartment I was telling my mom about the dog and when I said his name was “Inti” she said, “What? Monty?”

This is Fuzzy Bear:

Fuzzy was given to me by my former mother-in-law (back when she was my then-MIL), as she had about a million of these bears at the time.  With Fuzzy I went back to my inabilty-to-come-up-with-a-decent-name roots.

Sam (short for Sample⁹) was a Christmas present I received while in grad school:

I’m pretty sure that there is a law that all rat researchers must possess at least one cute stuffed rat to make us feel guilty.  One of my other rat researcher friends has a stuffed Ratatoulle.

I also have this white rat but, sadly, she doesn’t have a name. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to provide suggestions! Oh wait, I’ve got one! Her name will be Samantha:

Cold virus, Ebola virus, and Flu virus were given to me by my sister. Because she is awesome!

They are from the Giant Microbes collection¹⁰. I one brought these guys to a science event for kids where we had microscopes that the kids could use to look at all sorts of fun things on slides.  I figured that a few stuffed viruses would make the display table a bit more fun.  One kid took some playdough they’d made at one of the craft-type tables and made their very own Ebola virus. Another kid looked at me and said, with a totally straight face, “Viruses don’t have eyes.”

Later on, Giant Microbes added body cells to their collection and I got Neuron, which I discovered at the San Francisco airport.  I bought one for me and one for Tod:

Aren’t they cute together?

When I graduated with my Ph.D., my parents gave me this guy:

I named him Dr. Stephen J. Toope, the Elephant after the then-new president of UBC.  Who is not an elephant.

Knowing of my fondness for the sasquatch from the mysterious forests of Canada, Kalev gave me Quatchi for Christmas one year:

That year I also gave a Quatchi to my neice!

This little cutie was a gift from Tod:

We were chain smoking the first four (or was it five?) seasons of Lost at the time, so I named him Mr. Eko.

Another gift from Tod is Santo from the Chateau Frontenac, which he brought back from a recent trip to Quebec:

You can actually borrow the real Santo if you are a guest at the hotel!

¹I was about to write “Grampa {mom’s maiden name}, which is how I always referred to him, but then realized that {mom’s maiden name} is often used as a password and I wouldn’t want y’all to be able to log into my important accounts, such as the Canucks Inside Edge fan club site or ClubZone.com
²OK, so this is a total tangent – when I was little, all my aunts and uncles on my dad’s side of the family (the side we saw all the time) were married except for my dad’s youngest sister (Wendy) and youngest brother (Harry). Uncle Greg was married to Aunt Dale, Aunt Gwen was married to Uncle Dennis, etc. And since everyone else was paired up, my sister and I thought for a long time that Aunt Wendy and Uncle Harry were married to each other, rather than being brother and sister. They were the only adults who weren’t paired up at family functions and one was a girl and one was a boy – it made perfect sense to us. We figured it out eventually and it wasn’t until years later that we clued into how twisted that was!
³a.k.a. congenital dislocated hip
⁴For the record, I’ve totally stolen this joke from Tod.
⁵I didn’t make that word up. Seriously, that’s what he was called on Wikipedia.
⁶Which is why my sister refers to them as “religi-tables.”
⁷It wasn’t A&P or Loblaws, which were the two main grocery stores in Ontario. It was in the same shopping complex at “The Barn,” which was where I used to buy my produce. How I can remember all that, but not the name of the actual store, I’ll never know.
⁸That dog was totally using me.
⁹“Sample” was a euphemism we used in the lab, because it was much nicer than saying “kill.”
¹⁰OMG, I just Googled them to put that link and discovered that they now have a stuffed SWINE FLU!

Don’t forget to donate!

Read about the charity that I’m supporting, Options for Sexual Health!!