Welcome to Cougartown
By Beth. Filed in Uncategorized |
I have recently been discussing with various people the correct definition of a cougar. This topic has come up in conversation for absolutely no reason at all, why do you ask?
A search of such illustrious sources as wikipedia and urban dictionary have revealed that there appears to be no consensus on what constitutes a cougar. Opinions I’ve heard expressed include:
- you have to be at least 35 years old
- you definitely have to be more than 40 years old
- anyone over 30 can be a cougar
- there’s no minimum age limit – it’s all about the age differential
- age limits don’t count if you don’t look your age*
- without the leopard print spandex and skin that’s been tanned so many times it looks like leather, you ain’t a cougar
- you want to poke your friend’s son? That makes you a cougar – regardless of your age.
But then, when I was having dinner with my friend, Alicia, she informed me of “the formula for calculating if you are cougar.” She assures me that this formula has been scientifically validated:
( your age ÷ 2 ) + 7
For example, if you are, let’s say for a completely arbitrary example, 29 years old, then your minimum age limit would be:
( 29 ÷ 2 ) + 7 = 21.5… which you round up to 22
–> if go for a guy under 22, you are a cougar.
Discussing this formula with some other friends, I was informed by Kyle that there is a similar “hockey player formula”= ( your age ÷ 2 ) –> hockey players can go for anyone who is over half their age**.
So, I’m interested in your opinion: what, exactly, are the requirements of being a cougar?
*I may or may not have been the person expressing this opinion.
**And we all know what an avid hockey player I am. I’m just saying.
Tuesday, June 6th 2006 at 3:03 am
Is my mother considered a cougar when she tries to date (and/or poke) my friends?
Yes.
Tuesday, June 6th 2006 at 10:33 am
A cougar is a woman slightly past her prime who tries to pick up younger men (maybe not half her age, but anywhere between 10-15+ years younger than her.) She doesn’t have to be a specific age, she just has to look like she’s trying too hard to look younger than she is.
Tuesday, June 6th 2006 at 9:04 pm
“…she just has to look like she’s trying too hard to look younger than she is”
uh oh… right now I have turquoise nail polish on… does that make me a cougar?
Sunday, June 25th 2006 at 2:48 pm
cougar-ness is not about age, or fingernails, it is about the ability to be a predator.
As far as I know, you’ve not taken to lurking in dark corners and stalking man meat. Or to scratching out the competition with your manicured turquoise claws. So, no, Beth. You are not a cougar. Sorry. Call me when you start eating your meat raw.
okay, feminist rant on:
It pisses me off to no end that women even ask this question. Like there are two stages to a woman’s life – your prime and then everything after, where you can only be compared to Bea Arthur’s vagina. Stupid patriarchy.
:rant off
thinking about this – if we based it on their clothing, cougars would be called lepoards. Or lycras.
Monday, June 26th 2006 at 7:53 pm
Leave it to Jody to bring some good common sense and feminism into the discussion. I appreciate the reassurances that I have not yet reached cougartown, and that I should not even be asking such a question… you are right… I mean, no one ever called Anna Nicole Smith’s husband a cougar, did they?